About Me

Seraphim98

Member since Apr 27, 2007
United States
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I was born backwards Sunday in July of 1956. It seems I've been headed in much that same direction ever since. Suffice it to say experience has taught me that the way this world works and the way I am put together are not that compatible. By the world's standards I have been a notorious failure at almost everything I have tried....I got the hang of breathing and walking, but not very much else. It has been a Charlie Brown kind of existence...a staggering number of footballs jerked away at just as I work of the nerve, gumption, courage...but not optimism for a very long time to try again to risk believing that at long last my kick will connect and send that football sailing. Of course it never does and probably never will...the Lucys of this life are hard on my kind of fools...the kind who never learn and who trust without, indeed sometimes in spite of reason because it is the polite thing to do.

And we have to admit there is a certain humor in it. The gag held up for decades in Peanuts. It is not funny if someone is mangled in a car wreck or mutilated like happens in Darfur or in Rwanda...but if someone is always bumping their head, barking their shins, tripping over their shoelaces...in any given instance it can be funny.

But if you are the one always bumping, falling and falling again. If you are the one always gullible enough to trust again only to be betrayed once more in some utterly predictable but still minor way that leaves you flat of your back with the wind knocked out of you the smile fades after a while. There has to be a better word than gullible, because after a while you know even before you run towards that ball the end will be the same. It will be jerked away at the last moment. The gag endures and after a moment to reflect on his own foolishness and stupidity Charlie Brown gets up and walks away knowing that sooner or later he will have the audacity, the brazenness, the foolishness to hope again. And Lucy will be there at that moment to invite him to kick the football promising that this time will be different.

That without any specifics is my history, a two panel running gag from an old Sunday comic strip.

The thing I wonder is at what point if ever did Charlie Brown run to kick the football knowing full well it would be snatched away just like all the other times....and yet trying anyway, not because he knew he had any chance of success but because he knew it would spoil it for Lucy if he didn't? Good ole Charlie Brown. Good grief...what a concept.

Well that's as much of my history as I"m willing to get into right now. Other relevant information some might want to know is that I am a member of the Eastern Orthodox Church (OCA) and am very happy with choice at least. It has been a rare consolation for me.

By now you should all be gloomied out and no longer be wondering why I've never posted in my blog here...it might just be too darn depressing. And I would hate to leave that impression...though for now that seems unavoidable. Perhaps I will add more later, right now it is blustery and the tree is hungry for another kite.